Today, according to society, is the day that you embrace, honor, and celebrate men everywhere who found it possible to spend the 1.3 seconds that it takes to get a woman knocked up.
I’d rather (and usually do) spend today celebrating the butch parent, the non-biological parent, the step-parent who doesn’t identify as a stepmom, and the transdad. Queering straight norms is one of my better things, and this is how we do that.
All over the country, there are guys like Rhett who have hooked up with a femme who has kids. These butches, transguys, masculine-of-center identified people have stepped in and become parents to another man’s kids. Or they found a girl, fell in love, and went to the time, expense, and heartache of planning and starting a family.
They make dinners, they wash clothes, they help with schoolwork, they teach a kid how to play baseball or football or soccer. They give advice, they offer discipline, they hold Momma’s hand when she doesn’t know what else to do. They attend parent teacher conferences, sporting events, school assemblies, and extracurricular appointments.
There’s no day for you guys, so I claim Father’s Day on your behalf. Whether the children were born yours or became yours because they were hers, they are your children now. They love you. They look up to you. They see how you treat their Momma and they imitate it.
I know it’s scary to be a role model, and three times scarier to be a parent.
But you’re already the bravest bunch of folks I know, so I’m sure you carry it beautifully. Just about anyone can accidentally become a parent. You choose to be the parent that you are, and all of our families are better for that choice.
Happy Queer Father’s Day, darlings. I love every single one of you more than you could possibly imagine.