Only Partly Uncensored


In Mouthy Broad on June 24, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Oh dear. Someone ended up at TSOC after Googling “1980s Strawberry Shortcake.”

Sorry ’bout dat. Y’all just come on back anytime, now, y’hear? *winces delicately and shuts the door quietly behind them*

Do you know what I lovelovelove about being a blogger – even when I hate it? I love that I write in so many different places about so many different things, and get so many different sets of feedback.

My “hometown” blog, that’s linked to my “real” life, is followed by people I grew up with, members of my family, and the few good folks I’ve met through TSOC who have become “real” friends. So it’s read through eyes that remember me in pigtails and pink glasses. I get laughter and memories and lots and lots of ass-busting from my audience there. I also get some pretty unexpected sweetness and support on the rare occasions that I blog about my queerness in that venue. That’s the blog that reminds me that, no matter what my life looks like to me, I’m an inadvertent ambassador for my little corner of our rainbow-colored community.

Card Carrying Lesbian is a much more mainstream gay girl kind of site – I’ve intentionally opened myself up in a Q & A series that’s proving eye-opening from this side of the keyboard. It’s amazing to see how many questions there are from fellow queers who haven’t ever met, or don’t know well, anyone who identifies as trans. It makes me understand better why there is so little tolerance for transpeople out in the world. Even within our own community, there’s so little awareness. I didn’t set out to present myself as an expert on trans issues there; I still don’t. What I do, is write from my own experiences and what I know (and feel comfortable disclosing) of Rhett’s and others’. And I find, over and over again, that a human face on the shared experience breeds tolerance and support faster than any ballot measure ever could.

ButchLab’s Symposium is probably the most challenging writing group I participate in, simply because I am not butch. But I love it. I love the sense of community and camaraderie and willingness to debate.

I’m currently working on a draft for yet another blog (actually, two drafts for two other blogs, but the sentence didn’t flow right with that piece of info) – I don’t know yet if I will be picked up either as a one-time guest or as a regular contributor. It may never see the light of day, but that’s okay because I’m enjoying the process of finding yet another side of who I am to share with yet another audience. The one that’s furthest along in its development is actually something of a mommy blog. Weird for me; I’m not a mommy blogger in the slightest. What I am, though, is a queer femme raising a son in this society. There aren’t too many resources out there for chicks like me. Believe me, I’ve looked.

I guess you could look at me and shake your head – I don’t get paid for one word of the writing I do, and yet it takes up significant quantities of my time and energy. On the one hand, it’s an exercise in ego. You can’t get up every morning and blog if you think you’ve got nothing to say and no one would want to read it anyway. I know this for a fact, because when I go through those spells, I don’t write.

At all.

And it always ends up badly for me.

I don’t know if I’m ever going to get paid for my writing (not that I wouldn’t love to). I’m not a fiction writer, though, as much as I would really love to be. I’m just not that kind of creative. My strength is in taking my everyday life and snapshotting it into a few paragraphs. I think I might just be wired to be a blogger, at the end of the day.

So I guess I’m saying all that to say this:

The more external blogging I do, away from TSOC, the more I usually come back and wonder where I’m going with this site. I’ve never once felt the impulse to change it into a community-driven site. I try to stay away from writing to any kind of audience here. But I wonder, as I write more and more, if maybe I should.

Strike that.

I used to wonder.

Now, I’m just glad I have this one little corner of the internetz that is mine, and mine alone, and not audience- or target- or topic-driven in any way, shape or form. This is my little refuge from all that, and it’s going to stay that way. So even though I don’t write to you, or for you, or about you, I’m glad you read along. TSOC is my own little coffeeshop klatch.

And that’s as it should be.

Enjoy your weekends, darlings. Sharkman is coming home this afternoon, and I have [edited for inappropriate exmarital referential content].

*waves affectionately* See y’all later.


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