There’s some moments in your life that you only recognize as having been a turning point once they’ve past. You can look back and say, hey, that was it. That was the moment everything changed. Then, there’s some moments that you just know. You can see it, that you’re redefining your entire life with every step forward.
Those moments, the ones you know about and are aware of? They’re terrifying. It’s like every breath is a decision: the old way or the new? Maybe they’re not terrifying to everyone, but they’re terrifying to me. I’m not great with the unknown. And new definitely equals unknown.
But, see, I’m getting too old to be afraid. I like that part. I like outgrowing my old fears and hang ups and baggage. It’s nice to wake up feeling lighter, freer, on the good days. (On the bad days, I think I’m crazy and that I’ll never be free, but the bad days are fewer and further between, too.)
Maybe I’ll grow up to be one of those skydiving grannies who set about their bucket lists with a vengeance.
These past couple of months have been a crucible of tension, stress, and pain. My hope for my little family is that the forging is completed. That we move forward stronger, more at peace, from here. That’s my hope, but my comfort is that we move forward together.